Friday, July 10, 2009

Ludwig van Beethoven

Weakness does not equal moral inferiority. Men and women are moral equals.

I don't like text messaging because for me it's an excuse for not calling. It's true that people can multi-task when they send text mesages, but I prefer doing one thing at a time. My biggest problem in phone conversation is probably speed. I often have to think very long before I know what to say. This is not a mental illness, is it?

I got a little nervous looking at the course offerings. Will I be able to handle it? I start to question my ability again.

This afternoon I almost fainted in the subway because of my terrible cramps. I arrived at MoMA on time for Shoah but my cramps just got worse. I had to lie on the bench just outside of T1 to rest. A guard came over to me to check if I was okay. She wanted me to go and get some ginger ale. I thanked her, but I really didn't have any strength to go. At around 4 pm, I got back home. Luckily Mike didn't visit this weekend for it would have been terrible.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Apichatpong Weerasethakul

If evil comes from weakness, why's that nobody says evil comes from women? Aren't women the weaker sex?

07/01 Flushing Public Library (Walter Benjamin, monad, dyad, eschatology, Charles Baudelaire, Bertolt Brecht, epic theatre, Gestapo). Curry beef.

07/02 MTA monthly pass ($89). East Village (Amy and Mariana). OISS (Heather). NYU Student ID (expire in 08/2013!). Bobst Library. 9 pm.

07/03 4 am. Chinese Embassy (42nd St), M42, MoMA (student membership $50), The Edge of Heaven (2007, Cannes). Mike didn't jump.

07/04 Elizabeth Paulsen and Mark. Think Coffee (Iced Spanish Latte). Tropical Malady (2004) by Apichatpong Weerasethakul. July 4th Fireworks at Hudson River (40th St). "Thank you" message.

07/05 P.S.1 MoMA. The Wayward Cloud (2005) by Tsai Ming-Liang. MoMA SummerGarden Concert.

07/06 Home. It's just very interesting. 黑太阳(Josh)改名叫巫明;贺明(Mike)改名叫贺冥。Sarah is working on a human trafficking awareness campaign, helping to write up the program for a documentary screening in August. I will attend this event. Just saw Ziyun's wedding photos. I feel really happy for her. She is a beautiful bride.

07/07 Chinese Embassy (closed at 2:30). A dream woke me up: I was trying to hit two flies in my room. I did it. I checked 周公解梦. It looks like that it's a bad dream. However, right after I hit the flies, I left the room and found a little boy dressed in ethnic clothes on the street. I loved his patchwork, which was still in the process of being completed. I asked him where he came from, he replied, "Peru." I paid him 10 dollars and let him promise me to give me this piece after he completed it. He smiled and nodded.

07/08 Sarah Ip at 1 pm. Korean food. Sarah is now a food blogger. She takes pictures of food and restaurants and writes about them. Julia Abrams at 5 pm. We walked around in Central Park and had dinner in a high-end Cuban restaurant. I had Tilapia with fruit sauce. It tasted like Heaven. :)

07/09 Bad stomach. Conversations with Contemporary Artists. With Teresa Margolles. Bolin.

07/10 See Judy's apartment at 7 pm. Discussion with Mike at 9 pm.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Carl Laemmle

I started to like the new place.

Elyssa is right. The rent near Washington Square or West Village is more like $1,200-1,300 per month

Amy and Mariana asked me to be their roommate. The apartment is in East Village. The rent is 1000 exclusive of utility bills. Like they said, the place was small, but it was cute.

Mike went bungee jumping in Canada.

It took Mom a total of 50 hours to fly back home. Her flight from Seoul to Wuhan was canceled. After they put her on a plane from Seoul to Shanghai and bought her ticket to fly from Shanghai to Wuhan, she was yet to encounter more unlucky things. Because of thunder storm in Shanghai and Nanjing, her flight was delayed. In the end, her baggage and her person arrived in Wuhan on different flights. It's her first time traveling home from abroad, and it's definitely the most dramatic one.

I got my NYU ID. The lady there made a mistake by putting its expiration month as 08/2013. She must have thought that I was an incoming undergraduate freshman. In fact, this was not the only time that such things happened to me at NYU. A girl, who was caught in the rain and drying herself up in the bathroom, also asked me if I was a freshman. I clarified by saying that I was, but a graduate freshman. She looked surprised, but I changed the topic soon.

I woke up at around 4 am today, had some reveries, turned on my laptop, and started writing.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Pathé

Two things this summer. Turning him on. Turning him off.

The three-day trip to NYC ended faster than I thought. My biggest impression is that the "here" and the "now" do not matter much to New Yorkers, who are always rushing and who must always want to be somewhere else. I don't think that Mom likes NYC as much as Boston. In fact, she is not impressed by NYC. However, she became grumpy whenever we stopped at a tourist attraction. While she wanted to have her picture taken, I had to shrug my shoulder and say "Sorry, Mom, I forgot my camera in Boston." Actually, not having a camera at hand was not a problem for me. At least, it allowed me to see the city more intimately. Moreover, it could all be fated! - I will not be another anonymous passer-by who is only interested in taking pictures but someone who will really get to know NYC.

Penny and David.

Michael Jackson died yesterday at the age of 50. This man is a total mystery to me. It's strange; I somehow know that I will die in 2066.

Departures by Yojiro Takita.

Plots of land in the area had been acquired by retired Methodist clergy and various religious and community organizations. When the first moviemakers arrived around 1903, the suburb had a population of just 166. William De Mille remembered that it "was largely peopled by folks from Missouri and Iowa," many of whom "had gone west to die." Pepper trees lined the muddy streets, orange groves stretched across the fields for miles, and the hills were wrapped in "heat waves you could actually see." Rabbits vastly outnumbered people in the bungalows and the rickety wooden barns, which were later pressed into service as studios. The churchgoing locals were deeply suspicious of the movie people, having already heard rumors of the debauchery and drunkenness that seemed to be already an integral part of show business, an image hardly helped by the sleazy reputation of the nickelodeons. "No dogs or actors allowed," read signs placed in the windows of rooming houses across Los Angeles. Locals called the studios "camps" and referred to the film people as "the movie colony." It was as if the film community were exiled in the desert, a feeling exacerbated by the fact that the train journey from New York lasted five uncomfortable days, first passing through Chicago, then across the drab Midwest plains to the desert, where the perspiring passengers would fling open the windows to escape the insufferable heat, only to be assailed by waves of coarse sand. Finally to arrive in California was, recalled one early traveler, like "coming out of an inferno to a paradise."

Puttnam, David. Movie and Money. 66

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Abbas Kiarostami & Mohsen Makhmalbaf

My temporary job as a shepherdress ended yesterday. I didn't like the way I parted with Gon's sheep because I rushed it through. I remember Tyger wishing me to go to next month's Flying Folks Tournament with him. He said that he would be happy only if I was there to watch. To his disappointment, I declined the invitation. The decision was no more because I was scared of this dangerous game than because I could be ungodly busy then.

Chang's cousin Wen Bin will pick us up from the bus terminal tomorrow. I thanked Mike, Penny, and Bolin for agreeing to help me. Yes, Mike is right, the party is canceled. I think he went with his Jewish redneck friend to Mir Hossein Mousavi's protest in New York today, but I don't think he has Alzheimer's disease.

Chang came over for dinner today. I told him what I thought would be a good topic for his photo essay, which he would soon need to submit for his next round of graduate application.

"if I am somewhat ashamed of my sentimentality and the way it apes my deepest emotions, most people who cry in movies do not usually live their entire lives in response to the experience, nor do they reflect analytically upon their tears. I have."

-Dr. Michael Harrington
(copied from Mike's Facebook. I am surprised that Dr. Michael Harrington doesn't know that there are just very blue people around. These blue men and women only turn red in the dark facing a movie screen.)

Monday, June 15, 2009

William Blake

To return a favor of an old friend, I became his shepherdress and have been herding sheep for the past two months. I named one quiet beautiful lamb Tyger. I pay a lot of attention to Tyger because he is different from the rest. I like how gentle Tyger smells, even if I bury my nose in him.

Ziheng will start working on June 29. He is not happy with the grade for his final project. In fact, he hates college because his professors suck, and college has been a waste of time for him. Soon he will work a job that he hates. Is there a way out?

Mike did not write any more emails to me, but I still think about him sporadically these days. I refrained from asking him more questions because I knew he probably could not give me any more exact answers.

I believe that both Roy and Mike have dived down at their own perils.

I will move to NYC in July, but next week I will visit NYC first.

The Reveries of the Solitary Walker by Jean-Jacques Rousseau.

"On this island there is only a single house, but a large, pleasant, and comfortable one which, like the island, belongs to Bern Hospital and in which a tax collector lives with his family and servants. He maintains a large farmyard, a pigeon house, and fishponds. Despite its smallness, the island is so varied in its terrain and vistas that it offers all kinds of landscapes and permits all kinds of cultivation. You can find fields, vineyards, woods, orchards, and rich pastures shaded by thickets and bordered by every species of shrubbery, whose freshness is preserved by the adjacent water. A high terrace planted with two rows of trees runs the length of the island, and in the middle of this terrace a pretty reception hall has been built where the inhabitants of the neighboring banks gather and come to dance on Sundays during harvests" (63).

Saturday, June 13, 2009

李商隐

身无彩凤双飞翼,心有灵犀一点通。

Her promises are like butterflies, hovering for a while, then nowhere to be found.

I finished Aquinas 101 last night. I have a sudden urge to watch The Postman again.

I finished scanning all my notes from college today. Time flies. I feel very content.

"part of friendship is to assist one another in spiritual as well as worldly duties; indeed the former is more necessary for attaining our main end--beatitude in heaven" (15).

"After several great journeys in his life, and worn out by almost continuous teaching and writing, he who had been a traveler now entered the life of plain vision and comprehension of all that he had labored to put into words" (16).

"Moses Maimonides (1135-1204) . . . thought that God cannot be simple if he possesses attributes . . . St. Thomas, however, thought that we are not confined to negative names but can speak about God affirmatively because, as he points out elsewhere, every negation rests on an affirmation" (22).

"One reason why we do not know what God is, is that he divine light is hidden from us by its simplicity . . . we can know that God exists but now what he is . . . By faith, however, we are joined to the unknown imperfectly, because we are joined to what is above the power of natural reason" (27, 28, 29).

"the gap between something and nothing is an infinite one, which only an inifinite being has the power to cross" (35).

"St. Thomas holds that God does not act by necessity of nature but by knowledge and understanding" (36).

St. Thomas "thought that the true explanation of diversity in the world was neither necessity nor chance but the ordering of God's wisdom, which he saw manifested in the order of the world" (38).

"nothing is more intimate to a thing than its existence" (39).
"things come from God's knowledge in the first place" (40).
"Existence is prior to the good because existence is the first good that is sought by everything; the first thing everything seeks is to preserve its existence" (45).
"Nothing recedes wholly from the good; otherwise it would cease to exist altogether" (50).
"evil is only found in things that are good by nature" (50).
"The beauty of the mind itself lies in its concord, or agreement, with truth" (55).

"Nothing is loved unless it is first known, St. Thomas repeats, following St. Augustine. We naturally love to know and love our knowledge. In the same way, the Word that comes forth in God as he thinks of himself is 'a word breathing forth love' (verbum spirans amorem)" (63).

"God dwells in us, St. Thomas says, as what is known exists in the mind and what is loved exists in the lover" (67).

"St. Thomas starts from the principle that all creation is good; what makes a thing good is its likeness to God. In St. Thomas's view, the goodness of creation requires the existence of beings who are like God in having incorporeal nature" (72).

"it is form that gives existence to matter anyway, according to the philosophy of Aristotle . . . A form can exists on its own if it has some kind of activity. This will be an immaterial activity" (73, 75).

"Evil . . . does not lie in the mater but in the will" (75).

"In Christian tradition the angels have been divided into a hierarchy of nine orders, three sets of three. The first set comprises Seraphim, Cherubim, and Thrones; the middle set, Dominations, Virtues, and Powers; the third set, Principalities, Archangels, and Angels . . . The three sets of orders can be divided by saying that the first reflects the attributes of God (who is love, knowledge, and justice); the second, his government; and the third, the execution of his providence . . . Archangels are the messengers of God, and angels are entrusted with watching over individual human beings . . . every angel is its own species . . . But the difference between one species of angel and another must be one of intellect, for they have a purely intellectual nature . . . God thinks of everything with one concept, and the nearer an angel is to God, the simpler it is . . . The higher the angel, the greater its power of seeing all the conclusions contained in an axiom. We have to argue from step to step to discover conclusions by discursive reasoning, but an angel, properly speaking, does not reason: it simply sees things by intuition. They do this by the light of their intellect" (76, 77, 78).

"As it was necessary for them to choose it freely, it was also possible for them to lose it by their own choice . . . There are two principle sins of the intellect: pride and envy . . . They sinned by wanting to be like God by their own strength, not by God's power. Nothing can be equal with God, because everything else receives its existence from another, and so shares in existence . . . The angels remained fixed in their first choice for several reasons . . . an angel reaches its perfection straight away with one movement of its will, since it is simple" (83).

"'psychology,' which literally means 'the study of the soul'" (99).

"'Since the soul naturally moves the body, a spiritual movement of the soul is naturally the cause of an alteration of the body'" (100).

"hope turns into joy and fear into sorrow or pain" (102).

"timid persons are frustrated by their lack of power and se themselves driven into a corner; they then turn around and attack what oppresses them with unexpected force" (104).

"when things become warm they fuse together . . . cold things do not easily mix" (106).

"We would rather be without sight than understanding, St. Thomas remarks . . . we receive joy from the two activities of inquiry (inquisitio) and contemplation" (108).

"the brain and imagination get tired . . . The remedy for the sorrow that comes from overwork is games and rest, St. Thomas recommends" (109).

"The greatest pleasure of the senses comes from the sense of touch" (109).

"Great pleasure or pain prevents us from thinking, St. Thomas observes, becaues thought involves the use of the imagination, which is absorbed by pleasure or pain, as all the powers of the soul are rooted in its essence" (110).

"one of the effects of anxiety is to restrict the movement of the body" (111).

"The memory of evil brings joy when we see ourselves now free from it" (112).

"As Aristotle says, a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved" (113).

"The contemplation of truth softens sadness and pain . . . As rest is the remedy for the body, so pleasure is for the soul" (114).

"'A gentle answer breaks anger' (Prv 15:1) . . . 'vengeance is sweet'" (117).

"For Aristotle good actions flow from the virtuous character, but for St. Thomas a person is good because he or she does good actions" (120).

"We should have solicitude about the needs of others rather than our own" (127).

"Prudence especially demands the mean in acting . . . The mean between the two, of being neither too fearful nor too daring, is the virtue of fortitude" (127).

"The Old Law restrains by fear of punishment, the New inclines use by the promise of eternal things" (143).

. . .

"the intellect's knowledge is only completed by love" (189).

"Aristotle counts friendship as a virtue (it is the only virtue to which he devotes not just one but two books of the Nicomachean Ethics), because being friends with others involves the practice of all the virtues . . . For Aristotle, friendship is part of happiness (eudomonia, or human flourishing and well-being)" (190).

"Aristotle says that there are three kinds of frienship: the useful, the pleasant, and the honorable . . . Aristotle thought that only friends of this third kind are truly friends, and Aquinas that only this kind can be perfect friendship" (191).

"no one can bear sorrow alone for a long time . . . The mere presence of the other makes one happy; friends find one another's company delightful . . . goodwill, generosity, companionship and conversation, concord and sympathy . . . For Aristotle, we love ourselves when we love the good of the higher part of our nature, which is reason. This most of al seems to be ourselves, he says, because it controls the emotions . . . for good reasons, their own existence is desirable: they like their own company, have entertaining memories, and have minds furnished with topics for contemplation" (192, 193, 194).

"Aristotle thought that our highest happiness lies in contemplation, for this is most like God's activity, but he does not associate this with the love of God. For the Christian, however, ethics is not just about the noble life, as it was for Aristotle, but about friendship with God" (195).

"St. Bonaventure . . . says that in things beneath us knowledge is more important than love, but in things above us, where our knowledge must remain imperfect, love counts for more than knowledge" (201).

"The more we are friends to ourselves, the more we can be friends to others" (202).

"we can only have contemplation imperfectly in this life, because we do not yet see clearly but only as in a mirror, with faith" (203).